By Eustace C. Jackson.
January 17, 2016.
Greetings boys and gals. Lets just say Eustace has missed you too and cherishes the opportunity to cut through the clutter and deliver to you the peripheral sutuhudus of global events. These are fast moving times, so lets get right to it lest we have to update it before long.
The topic for today is Obama dakun ma ma se. What? Patience my friends. But before that, let’s take a quick dive into global affairs to get us all caught up.
In November of 2015, ISIS apparently downed an airplane full of Russian vacationers (3 Ukrainians as well) on their way back home after frolicking in the beautiful resort of sheik (? Name?) in the Egyptian peninsula. There were no survivors. Much like the Obama administration after Benghazi, Putin and Russia, in the face of overwhelmingly compelling evidence remained reluctant to accept that ragtag ISIS had just one-upped the great Mother Russia! They eventually came around primarily because they had no control over the unrelenting evidence as was put forth by the US and Britain. This attack specifically targeted Russia as retribution for her military intervention in the Syrian bruhaha. One was tempted to say to Putin “take that Vladimir” for his indirect responsibility for the downing of MH17 over eastern Ukraine, but that would be a disgraceful decent to abject pettiness. Plus ISIS has turned out to be the ultimate unifier. Egypt remains in “the Nile”, a pseudonym of “denia l”. The net effect of this is Russia’s increased eagerness to vacate its team of one in favor of joining the coalition of the willing. To which Eustace says an emphatic NO! Russia was one of those countries that jeered from the sidelines when GW’s Iraq adventure turned to poop!
Talking of the coalition, are we really among willing partners? Take Turkey for example. Turkey by location is a geographical wonder. It’s a unique bridgehead bordering Europe on its west and the Middle East to its east. So literally speaking, Turkey is a two-faced state. This may in some ways explain Turkey’s dichotomy of interests and loyalties. Turkey had the gumption to needlessly shoot down a Russian bomber jet which according US intelligence had breached Turkey’s eastern airspace less than 2 miles deep and for a grand total of 19 seconds. By all accounts, the bomber never assumed an offensive posture. The only reason Turkey would have the guts to do this is because it is inoculated from an all out military retaliation courtesy of it’s membership in the NATO military alliance. And yet it gave the coalition access to the crucial (name?) airbase only after it suffered an ISIS attack on Ankara rally goers killing over 100! Plus Turkey would rather embattle the Peshmerga wa rriors of the Kurds than engage ISIS, although this stems from Turkish internal politics where the Kurds are viewed as violent separatists. In the meantime, Turkey and Russia bicker on about the final destination of ISIS peddled oil. Russia claims it has conc evidence the oil trail flows directly into Istanbul, with proceeds terminating in the coffers of president Tayyep Erdogen and his family. Turkey counterclaims the slicky oil streak leads to Damascus and Russian “puppet” Bashir al-Assad. The fact is one or both of them is buying the black gold at probably fire-sale prices.
Talking of Russia and NATO, the military alliance recently extended Montenegro an invition to apply for membership. NATO was basically a countermeasure to the Warsaw Pact of the defunct East Block. And despite the disintegration of the Soviet Union, the NATO alliance continues to expand. Putin and Russia finally openly identified NATO as a serious threat to their national security. Eustace wonders if the NATO charter has been revised and if so how so. In the meantime, a piece of advice from Eustace to Putin and Russia, put your paperwork together and join NATO! Eustace jokes not!
Back to ISIS. Late November of 2015, ISIS announced it had slain a Chinese hostage alongside a Norwegian both of whom had been displayed “for sale” on their website in the days prior. Remember when Dr. Carson informed us that the Chinese were already in Syria and y’all laughed ha ha? Remember? Your amnesiac brains caused you to forget that the “ok doctor” is also a devout Christain who was only just prophesying! Chinese president Xi Jinping responded with pointed indignation and promised bitter retributions. Yipee yay! Prophesy fulfilled Ben! But wait a minute. No known actions to date. And no word on when and what it’ll do. What many don’t understand is that China plays by a different set paradigms. In the late 1940s into the 50s, China, recuperating from the second world war and a brutal Japanese occupation embarked on a cultural revolution, aimed at modernization and development of all facets of the Chinese state. Led by a young charismatic communist Mao Zedong, the revolution was fierce and harsh, pushing pe ople over and beyond their limits and ultimately claiming many casualties.
When it was brought to “Chairman” Mao’s attention that the manually overburdensome revolution had resulted in over a million fatalities, he reportedly retorted rather irritatingly, to the effect that a million people were essentially a rounding error in terms of Chinese population and wasn’t anything to whine about. 70 odd years later, there are even many more of them, hundreds of millions more. And they have islands to create in the disputed South China sea and currency to manipulate and government and corporate networks to hack and copyrights to infringe and a Tibet to dominate and a Taiwan to intimidate to be distracted by a wretched nonentity like ISIS. The only thing, only thing on China’s mind is China. They’re currently executing their 13th 5-year plan. They play the long game and have generally stayed away from such things as the otherwise global proliferation of terrorism. Eustace thinks China, more t han Iran, Russia, North Korea and ISIS combined is the biggest threat to the US and global economy and security. Why ISIS will go overboard to provoke a busy giant is beyond reason. Then again ISIS and reason are polar opposites. Eustace concurs with president Obama when he says ISIS (or ISIL – what’s in a name?) is a death cult. And that is the bedrock on which Eustace stands and says to president Obama, “Dakun Ma Ma Se”!
After it was determined that ISIS did indeed blow up the airliner heading out of the sheik (name?), Eustace stomped to his writing desk to angrily denounce yet again another demonic act. Eustace took a quick #2 bathroom break, came back and Paris was under siege. Eustace then took a non-smoking smoke break and alas San Bernadino had lost 14 beautiful party-goers. Eustace, channeling his inner Donald wondered what the hell is going on? Please boys and girls, don’t take this as an attempt by Eustace to make caricature of these horrific incidents, but rather an attempt to euphemize the frequency of these events.
Maybe it’s finally time to go in there and route the bastards (thank you Jim Acosta)! In a recent CNN/ORC poll, 68% of “we the people” feel the US-led 60+ nations year-and-a-half long aerial assault on ISIS positions has been grossly ineffective at best. They point to the wanton massacre of 130 Parisians of different nationalities and before that Charlie Hebdo and of course Sharm el-Sheikh and San Benardino. For that reason, 53% insist its time to go in there and take out them nincompoops! For those who charge that the airstrikes aren’t working, Eustace wants you to know this: you see those clips with ISIS rogues perambulating in their convoy of Toyota pickup trucks, that hasn’t happened in 15 months! They have been slowly but surely forced into an increasingly clandestine existence.
Famed writer Oscar Wilde once said he could resist anything but temptation! Sending ground troops into Syria is a temptation we must resist and thankfully we have an able commander-in-chief who s teadfastly recognizes the need for restraint, knowing that a true and lasting victory can only be that which is won by the aggrieved. Additional assistance should then be provided by the neighbors who either have begun to face, or are soon to face the stinging scourge of an unchecked ISIS. That way we can keep our “boots” in the air and participate from the ether.
Recently however, the Obama moat appears to have been breached. First his press secretary announced rather off-handedly that we’ll be sending less than 50 (i.e anywhere from 1 to 49) of our finest warriors into Syria. And then a few weeks later, defence secretary Ash Carter announced during a congressional hearing that we were sending in 350 Specialized Expeditionary Targeting Force. If you didn’t know any better you may think this was an archeological excavation team. But yet again, these are our very finest. While our president hasn’t succumbed to the severally mentioned 10 – 20 thousand troops advocated mostly by hawkish right wingers, Eustace’s fears remain unallayed. And here it is. Suppose in the fog of war, ISIS manages to capture Sergeant Joe Oliver Twist from Gilbert, SC and Corporal Thomas Z. Sawyer of Ottumwa, IA. They then decide to burn one alive in a cage and dissect the other alive like a lab rat. Then gleefully share these gory videos to a global audience!
When a grievous injustice is perpetrated on an American, “we the people” go gaga to the extent that justice, vengeance, retaliation, attrition, retribution, punishment, payback, atonement, chastisement, propitiation, recompense and accountability become one and the same. And Eustace knows this because it’s happened before. In March of 2004, 4 US civilian contractors were captured and killed in the Iraqi city of Fallujah. As repulsive as that was, what was even more revulsive and nauseating was what they did to their remains. They mutilated, burned, dragged and eventually hung their defiled remains on poles where they proceeded to stone them. “We the people” cried blue murder, leading eventually to “The Surge”! Remember? Two of the fiercest battles ensued, claiming many multitudes of casualties and wounded warriors!
So Eustace has one piece of advice for our war mongering politicians. If you’re going to send 1 to whatever number of our finest warriors to go fight ISIS on their turf, you better queue up the next 100 to 150 thousand that would have to go in on the day of reckoning. We can call them the Specialized Expeditionary Avenging Force!
Oh btw, “Dakun Ma Ma Se” is “Please Don’t Do It” in the beautiful Yoruba language of West Africa.
And so said the people:
Putin: ISIS, the great Mother Russia, a greater satan is coming for you! Prepare to die!
Trump: let Russia fight ISIS. Let ISIS fight Assad. Let Assad fight Al-Qa’ida. Let Al-qa’ida fight Russia. And then we must take all the oil. That i must tell you!
Egypt: no ISIS in Egypt!
Ahmadinejad: no gays in Iran!
Dr Carson: the Chinese are coming!
Ted Cruz: shut it down!
Koboko: Obama dakun ma ma se, dakun ma ma se, dakun ma ma se o!!!